Why validation isn’t as good as you think it is?
Validation is something that most of us have sought at some point in our lives, especially as children wanting to be acknowledged and recognised for doing something well.
How often do we actually carry that throughout our lives, whether in the workplace wanting to be told that we have done a great job or desiring validation from our partners within our relationships?
Quite often when we don’t receive the validation or the approval or recognition that we have been seeking, we can become frustrated or angry and feelings of resentment can begin to show up, creating disharmony for ourselves and in our lives.
Another way of getting validation can occur when people get together and discuss their mutual problems and end up either aligning and agreeing or resisting and reacting with each other and their issues, which can stick and solidify the problems even more so.
Would you be willing to get brutally honest with yourself?
What if you started to recognise and notice the areas where you are seeking validation?
A great example could be when you are sharing an idea with somebody and you could ask yourself, am I sharing this because I really want them to tell me what a great idea this is or isn’t, or am I sharing because this is fun?
As soon as you acknowledge where and when you are seeking validation, you can begin to change it.
What is the difference between validating and acknowledging?
When you validate something or someone you jump onto the polarity of either this is a good thing or a bad thing, positive or negative or right or wrong and therefore conclude that these are the only two choices available.
When you acknowledge, you can look at the current situation for what it is right now and have movement with that, you are not saying that that is the end of the story, which allows for other possibilities to show up.
What if you could go to acknowledgement instead?
Some great questions you can ask are:
What else is possible now?
Would I like to change this?
Can I change this?
What do I have to do to change this?
What do I have to put into place that would change this?
What do I choose and what can I put into place that would change this?
When you no longer require validation from somebody else you empower you to know what you know. You validate you, you inspire you, you become the cheerleader of your own life with your own ideas, your own creations and your life in general.
Is it time to be the cheerleader of your own life and acknowledge the greatness of you?
I hope to see you somewhere in the world soon!
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